I'll be sad too." I started sobbing (which he didn't expect) and said "I want a normal relationship with you." Since I was a little older, I finally knew what was going on. He started understanding how much it was taking an affect on me and stopped touching me (as much.
He still couldn't help himself sometimes.) A couple years later on Halloween 2011, he decided to take us to Disney Land. On our drive back from Disney Land, I was in the front and he decided to touch my lower area and grope my breasts when I was sleeping. I thought it was over already, but apparently he decided that was officially the last time. Skip down a couple more years later, we decide to move to a different state. I was 12 turning 13 now and we both decide to forget all that happened. He apologized before we moved on and never talked about it again. Also, during all of this he wasn't hurting me. He just somehow got me to do whatever he said. Anyways, now that we're in a different town, state, environment and such, things seemed better. When I got into my freshman year though, things were just okay. I'd still get nightmares of being touched. Not only that, but my mum's health was plummeting along with my grades. Things were really tough for my mum and she gets stressed out so easily. And the only one who really steps up to help her is Mike.The thing is, I know he loves my mum. My nightmares and thoughts won't go away though. Even though he's emotionally scarred me, he's also done a lot to have a roof over our head and food on the table. He's made my mum very happy (most of the time). He does anything she needs to make sure she's healthy and okay. He works not only to have a home, but to pay for all her medical things. In short, he loves my mum to death and does a lot for me too. He tries a lot to make up for what he did. My thoughts and emotions have been playing me for years. Despite the fact he's molested me for years, I still love and care about him as my actual dad.
Other than him doing things to me, he's been a good dad. I see the way he acts around me when he says sorry for what he's done. I see how much he's changed since we've moved. I've seen how he goes out of his way to do so much for my siblings (who are much older than me), niece, nephew, and mum. At the same time though all I see is a perverted, sick, twisted man that I still smile at every day. I guess this is where I stop to ask for help. I want to report him and tell my family what he did to me, but I love him.